Category Archives: Humor

Why I became a product designer

Now I realize designing NLEs for the professional space is chump change compared to the sexy world of consumer electronics, but if I work hard enough impressing my colleagues someday I might get to build something like this and get noticed by Jakob Nielsen.

Don’t play this around kids or in the office.

Season’s greetings

My esteemed colleague Scott Witthaus posted this to the Avid-L2 mailing list. It’s a trip down memory lane for many grizzled industry vets. As Scott wrote, “I believe I worked with this director.” I believe we all have.

Avid makes pop culture list

Entertainment Weekly has listed its picks for the 25 innovations with the greatest effect on pop culture since 1983. Avid came in at number 12. (It doesn’t call out a specific Avid technology. Assume it’s the NLE.)

The whole list is here. Avid came in behind YouTube and the iPod, but ahead of the web browser and the PlayStation2. So take it with a grain of salt.

The Wall Street Journal on editing

With the credit markets in a tailspin and the southern half of the US in flames and out of water, you would think the Wall Street Journal would have a busy enough news day. Apparently not. It was time for the WSJ to dust off the editing-is-just-so-dang-easy piece.

Lee Gomes is apparently no David Pogue. At least when Pogue oversimplifies my job in print, it’s fun to read and accurate enough for the masses. Gomes’ piece has no information of any interest to any editor, producer, or post production supervisor. Well, may the post supervisors will get a kick out of it.

In describing the modern, streamlined approach to feature film post, Gomes writes:

Right on the set, the digitized film went into a computer; after that, just a handful of people were involved. While the skills were different, coordinating the work of these editors and others wasn’t much more different than what happens in an average office with a typical PowerPoint presentation.

Oh really? I’ve done the consulting thing, and with it the whole PowerPoint to end all PowerPoint presentations. You know what, Mr. Gomes? If it’s that easy, I suggest you ditch journalism and become a post director at one of the networks. The pay’s a lot better, and you seem to think you could handle it.

Can’t wait until Gomes writes about managing SIVs. Now that’s something apparently any kindergartener can handle.

Top 10 (or so) editing lies

In the spirit of editing quotes earlier this week, Shane Ross collated the most common lies told to and by editors.

TOP TEN LIES EDITORS TELL PRODUCERS

10. It’s just a preview glitch.

9. It’s out of the safe area, you’ll never see that on the air.

8. It won’t really look like that.

7. I’ll fill out the paperwork tomorrow.

6. Why no, I don’t mind working on Saturday.

5. Oh, don’t go by that monitor.

4. It works better as a cut.

3. That glitch is on the source tape.

2. I’ll have all your changes done by the end of the day.

1. No, I agree. It’s much better that way.

TOP TEN LIES PRODUCERS TELL THEIR EDITORS

10. It’s pretty simple. It should only take an hour.

9. Budget? Don’t worry about it.

8. Feel free to be creative with this.

7. I only need a couple dubs.

6. The network will love it. They won’t make any changes.

5. I’m positive we’ve got that shot on another tape.

4. I’ve never had this problem anywhere else I have edited.

3. Could I see it just one more time?

2. I thought you’d be able to just paint it out.

1. How hard could it be?

TOP TEN LIES EDITORS TELL OTHER EDITORS (when they pick up the second half of a session)

10. It’ll only take about an hour to render.

9. I’ve pre-built all of the chyron.

8. It should only go a couple of more hours.

7. I’ll be at home. Call me if you have any questions.

6. The producer has been really organized so far.

5. All of the decks are working perfectly.

4. The list has been working great.

3. I’ve had no problems with this Avid.

2. Don’t worry, the credit roll is short.

1. I’ve already done the hardest parts.

TOP FIVE LIES EDITORS TELL THEIR ASSISTANT EDITORS

5. Kick me off if you need the station.

4. You don’t have to log everything.

3. We’ll finish early today.

2. I organized the files really well already.

1. An hour of footage a day, tops.

#1 LIE EDITORS TELL THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS

1. “I’ll be home soon.”

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